can i just turn in my blog for a thesis? otherwise i'm not graduating

my favorite pair of pants finally got too tore up to wear outside without looking like a hippie. duf and i were changing his spark plugs and it was damn hot and i was tired of looking like a hippie, so i turned them into shorts without even taking them off. thanks for the knife, santa. now i get to wear my favorite jeans again, and i get to wear them all summer, and i still won't wash them because jean shorts are lame, but cutoffs are trailer park, and i OWN t-park style.

well not everybody understands fashion like i do. i'm out tonight rocking my pants with a white t-shirt, and as i'm climbing into my car this indian girl walks up to me, saying "holy shit" and smiling and staring at me. i told her she had me confused with somebody else. then i notice how she's dressed. jean shorts. something's written on her shirt. she snapped to her senses and asked me, "oh, were you on the barcrawl?" huh? what bar crawl? and she busted out laughing. "oh my god you're not. you're just wearing them. it's the 'students against jean shorts' bar crawl." i shit you not. she warned me not to go to clyborne's or i'd get my ass kicked. more likely i would've made about a hundred friends and they would've bought me drinks.

i've got news for you, bitches. everything comes back eventually. all it takes is one rock star to get the cool kids wearing it, and one movie star to piss off the cool kids and get all the other kids wearing it. like trucker hats and white belts. i've seen cali girls in cutoff highwaters. i swear to god you'll all do this when your ripped jeans start falling apart. and if you weren't lucky enough to have shitty jeans, you'll pay abercrombie to do it for you. i'll be john the baptist of kitschy college fashion. and i'm so damn smug about it. somebody punch me.