you're not a dog, are you tommy?

having returned safely to illinois, i immediately set out on a seven-day bender. saw constantine the first night and stayed up until four...reading sin city. the worst part about that comic is the way it portrays women. the classic stereotype: hot, ready, sometimes badass but dependent on men nevertheless. then i come home and here's champaign in the springtime, driving the stereotype home.

i guess i'm ready to talk about trying to kiss maureen, now that i've outed society for being sexist and making me into the pig i am. maureen has a boyfriend whom i know and like. we have never had feelings for each other. but we drink together. and just before spring break, we were drunk at 4 or so, and i tried to kiss her. whoops! she made the mistake of putting an arm around me and looking me in the eye or something. you know how you look a dog dead in the eye and it gets freaked out and has to bark? (or bite you and be put to sleep. sorry zoe) well, if a human being is looked in the eye just the right way, and he's drunk, and perhaps no better than a dog to begin with, he may forget that you have a boyfriend, whom he knows and likes, and that's it. thirty minutes later we were alone on her couch, we had another moment, and i moved in to kiss. she turned away in the nick of time, and not to be discouraged by disinterest, i went for the neck. tenacity! she did arch her back, and i didn't stop, but she again came to her senses and stood up. and honest to god i had her sit on my lap for five minutes, and we talked it out, and good sense prevailed, and i tried to get her to let me sleep in her bed since now i was sensible and safe, and good sense prevailed again, and i slept on the couch. she said everything was cool and not to worry about it, but we agreed she'd be mighty upset in the morning.

i've feared for nearly two weeks. i left the bar with her alone tonight (it's tuesday. 5:00 somewhere. i'm taking my leisure time very seriously) and finally got a chance to apologize. apologies are a luxury unknown to the average remorseful dog. she said it was water under the bridge, and we had an easy chat on the bus ride home.

so here's the comprehension question straight out of a fifth-grade CAT test: has there ever been a time when you and a platonic friend of the opposite sex made out, fucked, or otherwise aired your mutual attraction, and how did it turn out? did it bring you closer or make your friendship more awkward? you don't have to post. i know it's an awfully personal question. just think about it.