clear a path

muchachos y muchachas:

i'm coming back for christmas. i'll be in springfield about 9:00 on the 23rd, and i have to be back at o'hare by the morning of the 29th. which means probably no stop in champaign. that means somebody in springfield has to have sex with me. i'm 6'1, rich, sexxy, disease free, and i swear to god i'll be driving a van with a wheelchair lift in it. you heard right! i have a van!

here's a bit of trivia you'll probably enjoy: i haven't had sex in sangamon county since 2002.

so let's make it happen! i mean it. this can be my christmas present from the town. designate one girl to take one for the team, and the whole town gets by with not buying me a present. it's like sacrificing a virgin so i spare your town for another year. fear godphilla, king of monsters!